Warriors gone Random
by XxSparklexX
Summary: Firestar is in his midlife crisis. Graystripe in love with potato salad. Cloudtail superstitious. Tigerstar an opera singer? Bluestar has a secret past. Whitepaw thinks shes a turtle and strangest of all is the prophecy of Leafpool.
1. Gray hairs and potatos for the soul

**I felt random today so I felt like making a random fan fic. So yeah... Anyway please review and enjoy!**

Firestar stepped out of his den to greet the morning light.

"Hi light" he meowed happily.

It had rained that night and placed around the camp were small puddles. Firestar decided to look at his handsome face so he padded to one of the puddle.

"Hello hands-NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He screamed running around like an idiot.

"What's wrong Firestar?" Graystripe meowed waking up from the screaming.

"I have a gray hair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Firestar meowed hiding.

"What? Let me see!" Graystripe meowed.

"No don't look at my oldness!" He cried and lumbered of to his den.

"This better not be like the time he said peanut butter was talking to him." Graystripe muttered.

He exited the camp and padded into the forest. He entered a clearing and saw blue bowl at the center.

"What the heck?"He meowed moving closer to the bowl.

Inside the bowl was food with a wonderful aroma. He took a taste and immediately he was hooked.

"Mmmmmmmmmmmm! Man this is good." He purred eating the whole thing.

"Starclan tell me what this delectable treat is called."He meowed when he finished.

He looked at the bowl and noticed for the first time that there were words carved into the bowl.

"Po-ta-to Sa-lad… Potato Salad?" He read then. "I declare with all my might that Potato Salad is the greatest thing on EARTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He yowled to the heavens before having a hyper sejure.

**Well there is the First Chapter of this random tale. Hope you liked it. Yeah I know it was short but i'm lazy. I'll have the next one up soon though. One more thing REVIEW!**

**Leafy**


	2. The Prophecy of nachos

**Well here is chapter 2 of Warriors gone Random! So lets read+ Its longer**

Leafpool woke with a fright.

"I must tell Firestar about the prophecy!" She meowed to herself.

She ran across the clearing and into the leader's den but found nothing. She stepped out confused.

"Hi Leafpool!" a voice said.

She turned around to see Graystripe, or at least she thought it was Graystripe. The cat she was looking at was covered with potato salad and a bowl on his head.

"Graystripe is that you?" She meowed, staring at him with a confused look on her face.

"Of course it's me!" He meowed, pausing to lick some potato salad off his fur. "What do you want anyway?" He said getting annoyed that he was talking instead of eating.

"Uh… Oh yeah! Where is Firestar" She asked.

"He's in the elders den complaining about some gray hair. I don't see what the big deal is; I mean I have tons of them!" He meowed before licking so more potato salad from his fur.

"Thanks Graystripe" She meowed before leaving the gray warrior.

She entered the den to find Firestar sitting there sleeping. She poked him and he began to scream like a girl.

"Firestar it's just me Leafpool."

"Oh yeah the one who talks to dead things." He meowed.

"Look Firestar I received a prophecy!" She said.

"I thought we got rid of those things when you went to therapy." He meowed giving her a nervous glance and inching closer to the phone.

"No this one is real! A giant nacho with a mustache told me it!" She said.

"A giant nacho?" He said picking up the phone and dialing a number. "Continue." He meowed.

"Ok the giant nacho said that this prophecy was going to determine the fate of the clans! Firestar are listening to me!" She growled

"Yes she's gone mad again! Just get over here as soon as possible." He said to the phone before hanging it up. "Of course I was listening to you now continue."

"Ok as I was saying, the giant nacho told me this and only this: Purple Monkeys like Green Jello." She meowed, her face serious.

"Leafpool I'm going to tell you something right now ok. There are these people who are going to come and help you figure out this prophecy. They're going to take you to the Happy Hotel and put you in a comfy room with a warm jacket, there they will try and help you." The leader meowed as truck came. "Now go with them."

"No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Leafpool screamed as she was dragged away to the Happy Hotel.

"Well now that that's done time to be old again." He meowed before falling asleep.

"Man this is boring" Longtail said who had been listening the whole time. "I may be old and I may be blind but that doesn't mean I can't have fun!" He yowled as he left the camp.

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Spottedleaf looked down at the clans from Starclan.

"Now who is going to lead the clans! The leader thinks he is old and the deputy is potato salad covered."The she cat growled.

"I will"

Spottedleaf turned around to see Bluestar in a cape standing heroically on a cloud.

"Bluestar you're not qualified to be a leader!" She said to the cat.

"Yes I am and I'll prove it!" The blue she cat meowed jumping down to the clan.

"But what about your little secret!" Spottedleaf called to the blue cat as she entered the camp.

"Hey if she gets to go down I do to!" A voice said from behind.

"And me" Another voice meowed.

Spottedleaf turned to see Tigerstar and Darkstripe standing next to her.

"How did you guys get out of your cage?" She asked the pair.

"With turkeys!" Meowed Tigerstar as he jumped down to thunderclan with Darkstripe following him.

"Thunderclan is doomed!" She meowed.

**Will Leafpool's prophecy come true or is it just nonsense. What is Longtail going to do! What is Bluestar's secret? And how did Tigerstar get out of the cage with a Turkey? All these questions buzz around your head as a cackle evilly in my chair. Muahhahahaha! Please Review!**


	3. A New Leader and Bad Luck a Muck

**Its Chapter 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope you like it! Great jop Pinefur of Dragonclan on figuring out the tukey thing. Spottedleaf plushie for you! Anyway on to the story! **

"Let all cats get off their lazy butts and get over here!" Bluestar yowled on top of high rock.

The cats of thunderclan walked to the high rock puzzled to see Bluestar on high rock.

"Aren't you dead?!" Dustpelt meowed.

"Yes but I'm back because your leader is being stupid and your deputy is coated with potato salad." She replied pointing with her tail to Firestar (or as he wanted to be called Oldfur) sleeping beside Graystripe, who you wouldn't normally recognize, eating the potato salad off himself.

The thunderclanners nodded in agreement.

"I will be leader until these two get normal. Now I must choose a deputy…" she meowed, looking around the clearing. Many cats had their hands up but she ignored them. "The new deputy of Thunderclan will be Tigerclaw." She finished.

"WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAATTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The cats yowled in harmony.

"He's EVIL and DEAD!!!!!!!!" Dustpelt yowled in anger as the large tabby walked to Bluestar.

"Well you're all going to have to live with it."Bluestar meowed simply stepping off the rock.

The cats began to break up except one cat. Whitepaw was slowly getting up. Cloudtail was puzzled by his daughters slowness so he walked to her.

"Why are you being so slow?" he asked staring at the white apprentice.

"I'm a turtle." She replied.

"What?! Whitepaw you're a cat not a turtle." Cloudtail said.

"Nope I'm a turtle." She said.

"Are not!"

"Are too"

"Are not!"

"Are too"

"Are not!"

"Are too"

"Are not"

"Are not"

"Are too" Cloudtail meowed frustration

"I'm glad you agree with me" she said slowly lifting her paw.

Cloudtail shook his head and left. He decided to go hunting to relax. He heard a cracking noise under his paw. Scared he lifted it to find that he had cracked a mirror. He shrugged and kept walking but suddenly he tripped. Landing face first in the mud. When he lifted his head he saw a huge empty Mayonnaise jar.

"I am Tod, King of the Mayo." The mayonnaise jar said in a deep voice.

"What!" Cloudtail meowed surprised.

"Shut up! Now listen there is bad luck in the world! Like if you break a mirror its bad luck! But the worst of it all is if a black cat crosses your path! So Beware!" Said the jar before turning back into a twig.

"That was scary! At least there are no black cats in Thunderclan." He said to himself.

He padded and caught to mice. The sun was setting so he decided to head back to camp. But to his horror as he entered camp a black cat was sitting there talking to Bluestar. Then it smiled happily and walked over to Cloudtail.

"Hi Cloudtail it's me Ravenpaw! Bluestar let me back in the clan and guess what? You're my new mentor!" The black cat meowed excitedly.

"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

**Whitepaw is a turtle yay!!!! Anyway I'll post chapter four once I get 15 reviews so REVIEW and thx for reading! **


	4. The Starting of Toasty Stunts

**Sorry I didn't update sooner but I've been real busy anyway on with Chapter four!**

Longtail looked from the top of Thunderclan camp, secretly hidden in a tree. Well, he actually didn't _look_ but you get the idea. His plan was almost complete. He then took out a pack of bright pink papers and threw them in the sky right under the camp.

Brambleclaw looked at the sky in fear. Pink death papers were flying towards him. He began to run in circles screaming as one paper landed on him and gave him a papercut.

Bluestar, ignoring the brambleclaw who was circling around her, took a paper and read it to herself:

_Come 1 and all to watch the amazing stunts of __Longtail__ the amazing stunt cat!_

_Be __amased__ as he jumps six badgers with his __Trycicle_

_To add to your __amazement the__ badgers have been set on fire!_

_So join me __Longtail__ on what may be my last day on earth!_

_Coming to a forest near you!_

_TOMORROW at SUNHIGH!_

Bluestar jumped on highrock and the cats gathered underneath here.

"I declare tomorrow a holiday for all except Ravenpaw and Cloudtail, so we can all see Longtails super stunt!" She yowled.

"How come I have to stay with him!" Cloudtail moaned.

"Because you must train!" Bluestar meowed to the unhappy Cloudtail.

All the cats scattered to do there duty except for two. One was Whitepaw whp was slowly getting up since she's a turtle. The other was Brambleclaw who lay there with many papercuts frozen in fear.

"This was the first sign! Soon the world will END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He yowled as he hid under a rock.

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Squirrelflight stared at the empty clearing. It was very foggy and hard to see. Suddenly a cat appeared of the scent of windclan.

"Tallstar what are you doing in my dream? Shouldn't you be in the dreams of Winclan cats?" Squirrelflight asked.

"They never listen to me! Anyway, you know how I died a while back? Well I never got to fulfill my life dream so instead I want you to do it." He asked using the puppy dog eyes.

"Ok… what do you want me to do?" She asked not resisting the eyes.

"I want you to be a den to den toast salescat!" He meowed.

"Why??? I'm not gonna waiste my time doing that! Are you crazy?" She yowled.

"Oh yes you are or you will turn into a hedgehog wearing the uglies clothes for all eternity! And plus…" He paused and pulled out some bread and pushed it in her face. "… Its Toasty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Fine!" She said before taking a bite and purring in delight at the good tasty flavor that enveloped her.

"Good! Well I gotta go! Footballs on tonight!" He meowed in delight as he vanished.

Suddenly squirrelflight awoke in the warriors den. _Stupid __Tallstar__ forgot to tell me where to find toast and all that stuff! _She thought.

She left the den to find written in the ground: everything you'll need is in this suitcase. Oh and I am not stupid! Tallstar

She rolled her eyes and picked up the suitcase to begin her work.

**Well the end of chapter four! Chapter Five will be up as soon as I get 25 reviews!**


	5. Stunts of Death

**Well 25 reviews took longer ****then**** I thought! Anyway chapter 5 is here!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own warrior or hello kitty**

_Today is the day that I die!_ Cloudtail thought as the clan left to see the super awesome stunt that Longtail was going to do at sunhigh. Now he was left alone with Ravenpaw.

"Cloudtail what do we do now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ravenpaw meowed jumping in joy.

"Get away from me! Just stand behind me and never I mean NEVER cross my path!!!!" Cloudtail yowled at the apprentice.

Ravenpaw paused for a moment, "You mean like this?" he asked as he crossed cloudtail's path.

"No!!!!!" Cloudtail yelled before a crow landed on his head and pecked him a million times on the forehead.

"Oh so I if that's not it then I can keep doing." Ravenpaw meowed as he crossed Cloudtail's path 5 times.

"NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! I mean yes you cant do that!" he said to the apprentice.

_How come nothing happened this time?_ The white tom wondered as he stepped out of the camp to hunt with Ravenpaw. Ravenpaw sniffed a squirrel and chased after it leaving Cloudtail alone. Suddenly a huge tree fell right on his tail.

"OWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He yowled as he tried to free his tail but it didn't work. He was stuck.

Then an army of cute white mice came up to him.

"We mice want revenge and this is the perfect time for it." A mouse said.

"What th-" Cloudtail was interrupted by the mice who pulled out little machine guns.

"Fire!" Said a mouse and Cloudail was buffeted by seeds.

After about ten minutes of torture the mice got bored and left leaving Cloudtail with many cuts and bruises.

"I caught it!" Ravenpaw meowed stepping in front of Cloudtail to show him the squirrel.

"That's just wonderful!" Cloudtail meowed with a fake smile.

"What happened to you?" Ravenpaw asked innocently.

"I hate you!" Cloudtail meowed simply. He manage to free his tail from the tree and he then limped back to camp. Leaving Ravenpaw confused with his squirrel.

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Bluestar led her clan to fourtrees were Longtail was to perform.she was accompanied by a lively Firestar. He seemed to have cheered up a little when he couldn't find any more gray hairs.

When the clan arrived at fourtrees they were amazed by the two huge ramps on the opposite sides of Fourtrees. In between them were six badgers. Around them were millions of seats and two gift shops and two snack shops.

Graystripe scurried to the snack shop for potato salad then started complaining since they didn't have any. Then he settled for some funnelcake.

All the cats took there seats. Half an hour later every one began to cheer since the light had dimmed.

Longtail took a match and lit the badgers on fire. Everyone applauded but then were shushed as Longtail as he walked to the ramp .

He mounted his motorcycle wich had Hello Kitty pictures on it. Then sped up the ramp as fast as light. The crowd was dazzled as they watch him in the air. He was right above the badgers when….

**Don ****don****don****Yay****cliffie****! I really want to annoy you guys today since it took forever to get 25 reviews! ****And since I love annoying people ****lol**** The next chapter will be up at 35 ****review**** so hurry up! ****Review!**


	6. Sparkling Tutus Of Fire

**I am so sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I left you guys on a cliffie!!!!!! Anyway I'm back and here is the chapter!**

Longtail glided through the air. Closer and closer came the ramp. The crowd was hushed in awe waiting for what would happen next. He landed elegantly on the ramp surprised he made it. The crowd cheered. And suddenly the unthinkable happened. One of the Badgers fell over from boredom catching the ramp on fire.

"FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yelled Oldfur running around Bluestar.

Everyone ran away except Whitepaw who was going at a slower speed then the rest. Longtail cowering in fear behind his tricycle cried out for his mommy. But alas he couldn't be saved.

The clan who had escaped all cheered that they had one less mouth to feed. Then they started home again.

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Tigerclaw leapt up on to highrock, it had been two days since Longtail had passed on and he decided it was time to do a show of his own.

"Let all of you stupid cats get over here or else!" He yowled.

All the cats hurried along to the center of camp to hear their evil deputy.

"I am here to announce that tonight I will perform opera to every one! Attendance is mandatory!" He yowled.

The crowd of cats stared at him in shock.

Still staring

Cough

Stare

"What!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Dustpelt finally meowed.

"I'm singing opera here tonight and if you're not here you die." He meowed simply as he leapt of the rock.

All the cats fainted in fear except for Darkstripe who clapped and cheered for Tigerclaw. Soon all the cats left to their duties.

Tigerclaw padded to his friend.

"Darkstripe what is that?" Tigerclaw meowed, pointing at a teddy bear with a bow.

"Oh this is my bestest friend Mr. Fuzzybottom!" He meowed hugging his teddy bear.

"You play with a teddy bear!?" Tigerclaw meowed in shock.

"Of course I do!" He meowed mater of factly.

"I don't know you anymore" Tigerclaw meowed walking away.

He ventured into the forest and padded into a clearing. Suddenly it turned night and there were no stars in the sky.

"Tigerstar you have been a naughty kitty!" Said a booming voice.

"Starclan?" He meowed, fear in his eyes.

"No there on vacation. I am The Great and Powerful Sparkles!!!" The voice yelled.

"Sparkles?" He meowed laughing his head off. "What's so powerful with a name like Sparkles?" He said between laughs.

Just then Tigerstar's tail caught on fire. He then began dancing around and begging for mercy. Then sparkles sent some rain to put it out.

"What did you say about the name Sparkles?"

"That it's awesome" Meowed Tigerstar staring at his tail.

"Well I am the author of this story and I order you to where a tutu every day for your life!" The voice said.

"Why?"

"Because you give tigers a bad name!" She said zapping a tutu onto him.

Then she left and the sun appeared once more.

-----In Windclan----

"Onestar I had a vision!"

"What was it Barkface?" The leader asked.

"I saw Tigerstar in a tutu!"

Both the medicine cat and the leader started laughing out loud until they couldn't breathe.

**Yay I'm part of the story! anyway review and check out my other story: Good and Evil look alike**


	7. Buy My Revenge

**Hey guys sorry for the long wait but I have to finish my summer reading projects and school starts Thursday so yeah. Anyway I'd like to announce my new co Author Jingle who gave inspiration to do this chapter. So on with the story:**

The clan piled into a huge theater groaning and muttering curse words. Tonight Tigerclaw was going to sing opera to them and everyone wasn't happy about it at all.

Squirrelflight always trying to sell her toast, set up a toast stand. For the first time people but some but she frowned as the stuck the food in their ears so they couldn't hear anything.

"Tallstar I can't sell Toast nobody wants any! Can I stop now?" She asked, looking up at silverpelt.

" No you can't stop! But I know I'll give you superpower to help you!" A big voice called before lightning struck Squirrelflight.

"Owww! That hurt!!" She said then she looked at herself.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You turned me into toast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She screamed.

"Yes I did. Bye."

Squirrelflight started to twitch but no one could tell since she was toast.

_Stupid Tal__l__star turning me into Toast, I wish I was a cat again._She thought and suddenly she became her old self again.

"Cool!" she meowed, then she wished she was toast and became toast again.

"Buy Me! Eat Me! Buy Me! Eat Me!" She chanted before the show started.

Tigerclaw appeared on stage (wearing a tutu of course) and opened his mouth to start when suddenly a huge hand appeared and flicked him away. All the cats cheered at this.

"Hello Thunderclan" Came a voice. "I am Sparkles the Author of this her story and I feel like telling you people a story. But first jingle my Co Author wants to tell her own"

..::Jingles Story::..

Blackstar walked around his territory feeling proud and planning how to ruin thunderclan and everything when suddenly a voice came out of nowhere.

"Blackstar you are evil and you must PAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Jingle said in booming voice.

"What the heck???????" Blackstar said looking around.

Then a paintbrush with pink pain appeared out of nowhere and started to paint Blackstar. After a little while Blackstar was painted bright pink.

"Your new name is Pinkstar"

"What have you done to my fur!" He cried out!

"It's permanent so it'll never come off." Jingle said laughing.

Then Pinkstar cried all the way home.

..::End of Jingles Story::..

The crowd of cats began to laugh hysterically except for Squirrelflight who was still chanting.

"Shush my turn!" Sparkles said silencing the crowd once more.

..::Sparkles Story::..

Nightcloud was hunting around Windclan when suddenly a hand picked her up and put her over a cliff.

"What is going on!" Nightcloud cried.

"Nightcloud I hate you so I'm going to throw you off a cliff." Sparkles said.

"Why?"

"Because I just hate you!" Sparkles cried out as she let go of the cat.

Then another hand caught the cat.

"Hey!" Sparkles shouted.

"Sparkles, what are you doing?" Jingle said.

"Having my revenge like you."

"No you can't kill her!"

"Why not I didn't bother you when you had revenge!"

"Yes but I didn't kill him!"

"Fine I won't kill Nightcloud but can I throw flaming doughnuts of evil at her?"

"Fine"

"YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Then Sparkles began throwing flaming doughnuts of evil at Nightcloud until she got bored.

"Well I'm leaving" Jingle said

"Ok be right there." Sparkles said

Then with an evil little grin she flicked Nightcloud off the cliff.

"Oops" She whispered, before she left.

..::End of Sparkles Story::..

"You ended up killing her!" Jingle cried out. "That's it you're getting a time out!

Then Jingle took Sparkles ear and dragged her off.

"….." Was all the cats could say before the left to go sleep.

**Wow this one is much longer than the others! Anyway yes I do hate Nightcloud! No offense to ay Blackstar and Nightcloud lovers. **

**But I have bad news. School starts and I won't be able to update a lot so yeah. Sorry!**

**Anyway REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	8. A Gathering to Remember

**Hey guys sorry for the long wait but schools been making me busy. Anyway here is the next chapter:**

Bluestar led the clan under shining moon to Fourtrees for tonight's gathering. Windclan and Riverclan were already there as the thunderclan cats stormed into the clearing. Bluestar leapt onto high stone only to meet the horrified faces of Leopardstar and Onestar.

"What?" Bluestar asked.

"Aren't you supposed to be dead!?" they both cried in unison.

"Well, Firestar and Graystripe weren't exactly on leadership terms." She said pointing at the two cats, one covered in potato salad and one with a cane. "So necessity called me to take over!"

"Who's necessity?" Cried one of the cats.

Meanwhile in authoresses land,

"Hey jingle look! I see toast!" Sparkles yelled staring at bread as Jingle walked away.

Back to the story:

Shadowclan was now arriving; they all had a sudden interest on the floor as their leader walked in. The crowd of cats except for Shadowclan erupted into laughter as Pinkstar with his bright pink pelt walked in.

"What happened Blackstar?" Onestar asked as Pinkstar leaped onto high stone.

"I don't want to talk about it, and my name is now Pinkstar." He said.

"Well, since we're all here let's start the gathering!" Yowled Bluestar.

Just then Leafpool ran into the clearing

"My prophecy is about to come true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She yelled at the top of her lungs until she passed out.

"Ok…………….." said the cats.

"Ee ee aa! Oo oo oo ah!!!" said a voice coming from the trees.

All the cats turned to see two huge gigantic purple monkeys.

"Why aren't are authoresses here to save us?!" Dustpelt yelled out.

Meanwhile in authoress land,

"Got any threes?" Sparkles asked.

"Nope, go fish." Jingle answered.

Back to the story.

"We must fulfill the prophecy by giving them green jello!!" Oldfur cried out, waving his cane around.

"But we only have a little jello left from jelly acorn day!" Sandstorm said.

"I know what to do!" Oldfur cried out as he slathered Tigerclaw with jelly. "We'll feed Tigerclaw to the monkeys.

"Yay!!!!!!!!!!!" Cried everyone.

"Not yay!!!!!!!!!!!" Cried Tigerclaw.

"Too late, you die now!" Cloudtail yowled as he poured the jelly on the cat.

Then the monkeys ate Tigerclaw and left to see the new episode of Dora the Explorer.

"So what's up?" Sparkles asked finally appearing.

"We just almost got killed!"

"Oh that's nice, I won at bingo!" Sparkles said.

"Next time we should be more responsible" said Jingle.

"Naah, too much effort." Sparkles said walking away.

"Get back here!" Cried Jingle, running after her.

"Well I think that ends the gathering!" Bluestar yowled.

Suddenly a pack of rabid rabbits jumped out of nowhere and attacked the cats with spoons. The cats of course one and had a great feast. Then the spoons turned into angels and floated to the sky.

"I'm glad things are back to normal." Said Onestar as he led his clan out of Fourtrees.

**Well that ends the prophecy**. **Next Chapter**** we will finally find out Bluestar secret! Yay!!!!!!**


	9. Blue Ducks

**Sorry for the long update but I haven't really had the time. But since it vacation I was able to write this yay! **

**I know you will love this chapter because ****it's**** random and you find out ****B****luestar****s**** secret!**

The cats of thunderclan walked back into camp all of them quite confuse at what had just taken place except for Bluestar who had a very worried face on. She ran into the den not saying a word to anyone.

"Ummm… Fire-Oldfur where is Tigerclaw?" Darkstripe asked holding on to his teddy bear.

"Oh well you see sonny he was eaten by purple monkeys at the gathering." He said in an old accent.

"Then who is the new deputy?"

The cats looked at each other shrugged and continued with their lives.

Oldfur though wasn't satisfied with a shrug he decided to ask Bluestar.

"Graystripe do you know where Bluestar is?" He asked his friend.

"First off that name doesn't fit me, I am now Potatostripe cause frankly you can't see my pelt!" what his used to be gray friend said was true he was completly covered with Potato salad.

"Yay whatever sonny now where did Bluestar wonder of to?"

"She's in her den"

"Thank ya sonny"

Oldfur entered the den cautiously and found Bluestar arguing with Spottedleaf.

"Bluestar it's gonna happen soon enough! You can't hide your past any longer!"

"But I wanna be leader!" Bluestar replied whining like a baby.

"Uh excuse me?" Oldfur said.

The two dead she-cats looked at him.

"Tell him!"

"Fine! Oldfur I have a secret past!" She said as suspenseful music began to play.

"NO! Everything I once knew was a lie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Oldfur cried as he started sucking on his thumb.

"Oh stop it! Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that well I' different. My mother was dog and my father was a hamster and I'm a---QUACK!!!!!" She was interrupted as a puff of blue smoke surrounded her.

"It's too late!" Spottedleaf cried out!

"WhAt Is GoInG oN?" Oldfur cried out.

The blue smoke retreated and showed a bright cyan blue duck where Bluestar had been.

"She is a duck?" asked Oldfur

"Pretty much… But she's still your leader. Bluestar your new name is Duckstar! This crown will help Identify you among other blue ducks if we ever encounter them.

Spottedleaf then placed a gold crown with sapphire jewels on the cyan duck's head.

"Ok…."

"QUACK!"

The two cats left the den along with Duckstar. Spottedleaf jumped onto highrock and called the clan together.

"Spottedleaf aren't you supposed to be dead? And what up with the duck?" Dustpelt asked.

"It's BLUE!" Ravenpaw yelled out.

"Oh shut up! Look Bluestar had an incident and turned into this err duck."

"QUACK!" Duckstar responded.

Squirrelflight raised her hand frantically.

"Yes Squirrelflight?" Spottedleaf asked.

"Do ducks like toast?"

"What kind of question is that? Oh no did Tallstar do it again! Tallstar when I get back up there you're getting a time out!" Spottedleaf yowled.

-In Starclan-

"Oh no! She found out! I most hide!" Tallstar said to himself stuffing himself in a shoebox.

-In Thunderclan-

"I'll be staying here for awhile translating for Duckstar." Spottedleaf continued.

"You speak duck?" Dustpelt asked.

"Long story" She replied jumping down followed by the duck.

**Well there you go! Next chapter will be even more random! Trust me! Well until next time I decide to update.**

**Sparkles**


	10. Tic Toc Its Random Time

**This chapter is going to be lots of fun to write! I just had a lot of ****Ice-cream****, sugar and now I'm starting to vibrate! Yay! Here we go!**

Dustpelt walked in wearing a hula skirt and marking all over his face. He had a staff he was carrying and he began to chant randomly when sudden-

"Ok hold up!" Jingle said.

"What?"

"You are way too hyper I don't think you can write a chapter like this."

"Blshalfhwuh"

"What?" Jingle asked.

"I said 'Blshalfhwuh'"

"Uggg look I'm going to go take an aspirin and take a little break for 20 min. Don't do anything random or else!" Jingle cried leaving.

"Hmmm 20 minutes without any one telling me what to do while I'm really hyper. This is going to be fun!"

-Back to the story-

Dustpelt had marking all over his face as he danced around yelling things out. He had attracted a large crowd of cats by now and continued to babble like an idiot.

"Dustpelt stop being random! And Sparkles didn't jingle tell you not to-" Spottedleaf was interrupted and disappeared in a puff of purple smoke.

"Cats the All Mighty Clock has told me that we must join the Tic Toc Tribe!" He cried out shaking his staff which had an alarm clock at the end of it.

"Ok" Said the cats.

They all disappeared and reappeared wearing hula skirts and marking on their face except Oldfur, Graystripe and Duckstar.

-With Spottedleaf-

"Where am I?" she called out into the abyss.

Suddenly 5 Care bears appeared out of nowhere.

"We love you!" They said as Spottedleaf screamed.

"Stop the Randomness" She cried.

-With Jingle-

"I hope Sparkles isn't doing something stupid"

-Back to the Story-

"Those three are to be sacrificed to the clock at the lake! Follow me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Dustpelt yelled grabbing Oldfur, Graystripe and Duckstar and tied them up to a branch and carried them to the lake.

When they arrive at the lake they built a roaring fire and danced around it babbling like idiots.

"Time to make the Idol!" He yowled while gathering sticks.

After one hour he stepped back and revealed a giant clock made of sticks and mud. The cats then kneeled down before it and bowed down repeatedly while chanting "Tic Toc! Tic Toc!".

As soon as the moon began to shine through the clouds Dustpelt called together his tribe and untied Duckstar.

"QUACK" Cried Duckstar.

"You stupid bird! You have not accepted the tribe traditions and now you must pay!" Dustpelt said lifting the blue duck up and padding toward the lake.

"QUACK!"

"Don't try and beg for mercy! Oh great Tic Toc gods please rid us of this duck!" He yelled before throwing the bird into the lake.

Duckstar being a duck just floated there and waddled back on to land.

"QUACK!"

"Vile beast be gone with you!"

He then through her once more into the lake. She again just floated there before waddling back on to land.

"QUACK!"

This whole episode repeated itself many times until Squirrelflight got an idea.

"Dustpelt let me through bread into the middle of the lake before you throw Duckstar!" She said as she through bread high into the sky before landing far of shore in the lake.

This time when Dustpelt threw the duck it swam to the bread and stayed there to eat it.

"Next!"

Sandstorm handed Graystripe over.

"Graystripe time for you to die in front of the Clock Gods!"

"There is a reason I eat so much potato salad" He cried as he jumped into the air.

In mid air he grew wings made of potato salad and flew into the sun.

"Doesn't that hurt his eyes?" Sandstorm asked confused.

"Ok whatever... Next!" Dustpelt said.

They took Oldfur and dragged him to Dustpelt.

"Graystripe I will follow you!" Oldfur cried jumping into the air.

Of course he didn't grow wings and plummeted into the lake.

"The Evil have paid!!!!" He cried out.

Then the Cha Cha Slide began to play and everyone did it around the fire.

-With Spottedleaf-

Spottedleaf was now in a corner, sucking her thumb while the Care bears told her the Alphabet.

-With Graystripe-

"I'm like butterfly in space!" he said twirling around.

-With Duckstar and Oldfur-

"QUACK!"

"Oh shut up" said Oldfur who was standing on tree trunk that had floated nearby.

-With Jingle-

"I've regained my composure! Time to check on Sparkles."

-With Sparkles-

Sparkles is on the floor vibrating after saving her chapter while yelling out "jwehlfgugbwuyegfuqa"

"What the heck did you do!" Cried out Jingle as she entered the room.

Then Jingle read the chapter and began ranting on how she had told Sparkles not to do this.

She the saved Spottedleaf from her Care bear room.

"Ok that's it your getting a time out" She said as she dragged Sparkles away.

"Quick reviewers save me by posting 'Tic Toc' in your post! If I get 10 I'll be let free!"

**Help me reviewers! If you want another chapter REVIEW!**


	11. Yo Mamma Is A Pirate From New Zealand

**Here is the next chappie! I know its kind of short!  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean, the cha cha slide, KFC, the matrix or anything else I mention in this chappie. **

Sparkles is tied up on a pirate ship when she hears the word Tic Toc. She then unties herself and begins sword fighting all the pirates with that music from Pirates of the Caribbean music playing in the background. She kills them all and then Jingle appears.

"What are you doing?" She asks.

"Playing pirate…"

"You're so weird."

"Popcorn to you to!" Sparkles replied shaking jingles hand.

"Huh?"

"I will now escape!" Sparkles yelled while doing the matrix and leaving the room.

"I really need to get her some help."

Sparkles is now sitting in front of her comp and is writing the chapter while eating ice cream.

-In the story-

"Stop!" yowled Spottedleaf to the cats who were doing the cha cha slide.

"I will delete you!" Yelled sparkles pressing the delete button.

Nothing happened.

"What!"

"Jingle blocked you from deleting me!" Spottedleaf replied pushing the cats back to camp.

"Grrr…"

"Where are Oldfur, Graystripe and Duckstar?"

"Uhhh… We kind of threw them into the lake. Actually Graystripe flew into space but Oldfur and Duckstar are in the lake." Dustpelt replied.

"You cats are stupid! You threw your old leader and your mental leader in a lake and let your deputy fly away!"

Then Spottedleaf forced Dustpelt to swim into the lake and bring back Oldfur and Duckstar.

"Now how to we get Graystripe back?" She asked.

-With Graystripe-

Graystripe is flying through space with his new wings when he got hungry.

"I wish I had some potato salad." He said to himself before seeing his wings.

"Maybe just a bite…"

He then ate his two wings while in flight.

"Curse your goodness!" He yowled as he plummeted to earth.

He fell and fell and fell before landing in New Zealand.

-In thunderclan-

"Oh well he'll eventually come back" Spottedleaf meowed to herself.

"Guys listen to me!!!" Leafpool yowled appearing out of nowhere. "I just got a prophecy from Spottedleaf."

"But I'm right here…" Spottedleaf said.

"Oh well then maybe I got you confused with someone anyway here is my dream."

FLASHBACK

Leafpool is in a dark clearing when the KFC guy appears in puff of green with purple polka dot smoke.

"Chickens hate cable TV" The KFC guy said before disappearing.

End Of FLASHBACK

"You confused me with the KFC guy!?" Spottedleaf yowled.

"It was a simple mistake," Leafpool said before putting on a gangster outfit. "You both are old!"

"Ohhhhhhhhh" The crowd of cats said.

"You just got dissed man!" Sandstorm said.

"I declare a Yo Mamma battle!" Spottedleaf yowled.

"You're on" Leafpool meowed.

"Yo Mamma so stupid she couldn't catch a mouse that was paralyzed in front of her!" Leafpool said.

"Well, Yo mama so fat she went to the gathering and sat next to everyone!" Spottedleaf meowed.

Then Sandstorm started to kick her butt because if you recall Leafpool's mom is Sandstorm.

**What will happen to Graystripe? Why did the KFC guy give us this warning? Where did cats learn about Yo Mamma jokes? Why am I asking you these questions when I already know the answers?**

**Find out next time on Warriors gone Random!**


	12. Back From The Dead

**OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY!!!!!!!!!!**

**Let me explain why I haven't updated in more than a year. First off school was being retarded so I didn't have much time at all. And as time passed and more important things came up this story kept being pushed further and further back into my mind. Anyway I'm BACK!!!! And just to make it up to you I'm gonna try to upload 3 chapters in three days! WOOT!**

**Anyway with that let us begin!**

~In the land of authoresses~

Sparkle is in a hospital room in a coma with a doctor looking at her chart with Jingle next to him.

"You've been looking at that chart for more than a year! Well what's wrong with her?" Jingle cried angrily with impatience.

"Well after looking at this very intensely and pondering about the meaning of life on a whole I would have to say that your best chance of winning would be to move your bishop to E-4" The doctor said in a calm voice showing Jingle the paper.

*The piece of paper is too weird for words and cannot be described. Therefore I am giving you a link so that you may actually see it with your own eyes.

http:// i54. photobucket. com/ albums/ g90/ treeflower_2006/ INGRefinanceDoc10024. jpg

Type it in without the spaces without the spaces*

Jingle looked at the doctor very carefully and suppressed a twitch.

"So you're telling me that for more than a year you were staring at this drawing and what you got from it was that I should move my bishop to E-4?! What kind of doctor are you!!!!"

"A good doctor"

Jingle was trying extremely hard not to succumb to the insanity.

"Well what about Sparkle?"

"You mean her? Oh she's fine I told her if she could stay asleep until I told her the magic word then I'd give her waffle! Flapdoodle!!!"

Suddenly Sparkle was revived and stood straight up in the bed.

"Come on Sparkle we're getting out of this place" Jingle said dragging her friend away.

"But I want my WAFFLE!!!"

"First you have to write a chapter!"

"Then Iz gets waffle?"

"Yes then youz gets waffle"

~In Warrior land~

The cats were extremely happy to be released from there suspended animation except for Sandstorm who was having a wonderful dream about a never ending conga line which ended when she woke up.

"Ok so where exactly did we leave off?" Asked Dustpelt.

All the cats pondered for a minute.

"I remember! You all decided to buy toast from me for 5 mice a slice!" Squirrelflight yowled happily.

"No!" All the cats said in unison before they threw rocks at her. Squirrelflight now yowled in pain.

"I remember. I had made you guys all clean up from that tic toc episode." Said Spottedleaf

"Oh yeah."

Suddenly a great big cloud of smoke appeared in the clearing along with a mariachi band. In it was Leopardstar riding a chihuahua.

"Hola mis amigos! It is I! Senorita Leopardstar with Paquito my trustee steed!" Leopardstar said in a Spanish accent while the mariachi band began to play.

"Go HOME Leopardstar!" Spottedleaf yowled.

Leopardstar sunken and defeated started to leave.

"I thought you guys were the fun clan…" She said as she left.

~Meanwhile in the bushes~

"Hey mariachi band I'll give you this magnificent stick if you stay here." Said a dark mysterious figure.

"Ok hombre"

~Back in the camp~

Oldfur was waving his cane around trying to gather people around.

"Come here ya youngins! I have a story for ya. It happened many moons ago. I was taken by rabid bears who worshipped a clock of sorts. I tried to fight them off with me huge muscles but there were too many of them and they were all 7 fee- no 700 feet tall. I managed to kill some but there were so many. I was overpowered and they threw me into the lake. Little did they-" Oldfur was cut off by yowls of protests.

"That happened 2 days ago!" Yowled Dustpelt who was the loudest protester. "And they weren't bears they were us and you didn't put up a fight because you're a scaredy cat.

"So ye think you're so powerful just because you're younger ey boy-o?" Oldfur said in his old accent, "Well its time ye learn a lesson."

"Bring it on old cat!"

Oldfur lunged but tripped on a ladybug and went down. There on the floor he proceeded to fall asleep snoring loudly.

"Does this mean I win?" Dustpelt said confused.

**Who is the mysterious dark figure and why would he want mariachi band? Is the picture the doctor was looking at really mean bishop to E-4 or is he covering something up? And why is Spottedleaf such a party pooper? And what happened to Gray- I mean Potatostripe?**

**Not my greatest chapter but don't worry because I promise I'll write the two next ones tomorrow and the day after!!!**

**Sparkle**


	13. Revolution of the Unimportant Pregnancy

**As promised I am sending this the day after the last chapter which is today. I'm a bit confused now…. Oh well onto the story.**

~In Thunderclan camp~

The dark mysterious figure crept around the camp. It was night and no one was stirring. He silently walked into the warrior den and dragged Darkstripe toward a corner. He began to slap him until he woke up.

"Wha? Where am I? WHERE IS MR. FUZ-----" The dark figure stuffed a shoe in his mouth so he wouldn't scream and wake up the clan.

"Darkstripe you must join me." The dark figure said.

"I'm not supposed to talk to strangers" Darkstripe said pulling the shoe out of his mouth, "Goodnight Mr. Scaryman" He continued walking away.

The dark figure began to twitch and wanted to yowl in frustration but he couldn't or else he'd wake up the whole clan. So he crept away silently.

~In New Zealand~

Potatostripe was extremely depressed because potato salad doesn't exist in New Zealand. Instead he had to settle for not so great Moa. (A Moa is an extinct giant bird of New Zealand)

"I must return to Thunderclan where bowls of Potato salad randomly appear!" He cried out to no one.

~Thunderclan Camp~

Everything seemed to be normal in Thunderclan Camp which as Spottedleaf knew meant that something really strange was going to happen. She could feel it in her bones.

Duckstar waddled out of her den. The sun reflected on her shiny crown which blinded everyone.

"My EYES!!!!" Someone unimportant yowled, "Who do you mean unimpor-" The unimportant cat was deleted.

~In the land of Authoresses~

"Stop deleting characters!" Jingle yelled.

"But he needed to be silenced. You could tell he knew too much! Plus I forgot his name and it would be embarrassing to ask him."

"So you felt deleting his existence was a better idea?'

"Better for me and I'm the most important person in the world" Sparkle said tying on a cape.

"Why do I even try…" Jingle muttered.

~Back to Thunderclan~

Duckstar flew up to the high rock to announce a clan meeting.

"QUACK!" Sadly nobody knows how to speak duck other than Spottedleaf so no one gathered.

Suddenly Darkstripe burst into the camp screaming and jumped up onto the rock. This caused Duckstar to fly away into the trees in fright.

"EVERYBODY GET OVER HERES!!!!!!!" He yowled at the top of the lungs.

All the cats gathered around wondering what was going on.

"What is the forest on fire?" Called someone.

"Is Timmykit stuck in the well?"

"Who's Timmykit and what's a well?" Asked Dustpelt.

"SHHHHHHH! This is way more important than that!" Darkstripe screeched, "Mr. Fuzzenbottom is pregnant!!!!!!!"

"How is that even possible?" Spottedleaf meowed.

"How is this important to our lives?" Dustpelt meowed.

"I hear that pregnant dolls need lots of toast or else the kids will be unhealthy" Squirrelflight called.

All the cats turned around and threw rocks at her.

"Anyways that's all I needz to sayz" Darkstripe meowed carrying Mr. Fuzzenbottom to the nursery.

~Under a Rock in Thunderclan camp~

(In case you don't remember in Chapter: The Starting of Toasty Stunts Brambleclaw thought the world was going to end and hid himself under a rock.)

_I wonder if it's safe yet. I mean a lot of strange things have been happening. I mean with all the changes in authority. Wait a minute. Spottedleaf took control as leader but who is deputy? Potatostripe isn't even here. _Brambleclaw thought to himself.

He sprang up from his hiding place and cried out to his clan "I HAVE RETURNED"

"You were gone?"

"Yes I was gone! Anyway don't you see that Spottedleaf is turning this clan into a monarchy!"

"Isn't that a type of butterfly? Is she turning our clan into a butterfly?" Asked Sandstorm.

"No! A monarchy is a government with one person ruling it" Brambleclaw stated.

All the cats stared at him weirdly.

"It's bad!"

"OH" The clan meowed in unison.

"Don't you see she hasn't appointed a deputy? She's the only one in power!!! She'll enslave us all!" Cried Brambleclaw.

"But she's the only sane on---" Dustpelt began but was interrupted.

"IT IS TIME FOR UN REVOLUTION!!!" Brambleclaw meowed in a French accent putting on a powdered wig.

To Brambleclaw's dismay though everyone had stopped listening to him because a worm had just surfaced.

Brambleclaw sunk to the background and pulled out a quill to begin writing "The Rights of Cat".

**Well there ya go! And now I have something for you guys to do!!! I need ideas for Mr. Fuzzenbottom spawn. They can be anything. Include a warrior name that ends with kit even if it's not a cat. Also include some sort of weird power or trait. They wont be featured in the next chappie because I have to write it right away. Stupid promise .. So they'll appear in the chapter following that one.**

**I already have an idea for one of them but I'm not gonna tell ya.**


	14. The Quest Part I

**Yes I've finally made it up to you guys! 3 Chapters in 3 Days just like I promised! Woot! As a reminder I need Mr. Fuzzenbottom kit ideas. They don't even have to be cats they can be whatever. But they need a warrior name and some sort of power. If I use your idea I'll post your name at the beginning of the chappie!**

**Anyway onto the story**

"I HAS FINISHED!" Meowed Brambleclaw holding up 'The Rights of Cat'.

"What?" Spottedleaf meowed.

"It's the document I spent the last 3 days writing in order to overthrow the evil corrupt dynasty you are trying to create."

"Oh that's nice…" Spottedleaf said not really interested.

"Remember I came to the realization after Darkstripe interrupted Duckstar with his stupid announcement" Brambleclaw pressed trying to get some recognition.

It seemed to have worked because a spark flashed in Spottedleaf's eyes and her mouth widened.

"See I knew you'd reme---" Brambleclaw started.

"OMG WHERE IS DUCKSTAR!!!!" She yowled.

"Wha?"

"I haven't seen her since Darkstripe scared her of the rock. Oh no we've lost our leader! Oh no. Oh no. Starclan can't find out about this! The other clans can't find out about this." Spottedleaf started to hyperventilated.

"Don't worry Spottedleaf, I mean how many cyan blue ducks wearing crowns can there be? We'll find her." Meowed Dustpelt.

"Alright Dustpelt I'm on it!" Meowed Sandstorm putting on a general uniform, "Alright soldiers! Spottedleaf, Dustpelt and I will be Team Awesome since I'm in it. Cloudtail and Ravenpaw will be Team Lucky and everybody else will be Team Other. Oldfur you stay here and protect the camp!"

"Why must I be with Raven-" Cloudtail began.

"Team Awesome will go to the lake. Team Lucky will go to Windclan border and Team Other will go to Shadowclan border. LET'S GO!!" Sandstorm continued.

All the cats stampeded out except for Oldfur who had to stay.

"Now to be vigilante of all my surroundings and protect me home" He meowed planting himself in the middle of the camp.

He then proceeded to fall asleep and dream of a world where everything was made of popcorn except for his huge car which was made of celery.

~Team Lucky~

"Now Ravenpaw remember not to walk in front of me!" Cloudtail stated sternly.

"Yeah Yeah whatever" His apprentices meowed sneaking a few paw steps in front of him while he wasn't looking.

Just then a giant jet fell on Cloudtail and then turned into pink smoke.

"What did I just say!!!!"

~Team Other~

"We're almost to the Shadowclan boundary." Squirrelflight meowed into her walkie talkie, "It is still unknown if the Shadowclanners want toast"

"Squirrelflight what are you doing? That's not a walkie talkie that's a rock. And we're looking for Duckstar!" Meowed some cat.

~In authoresses land~

"You better not touch that delete button" Jingle said sternly.

"But it WANTS to be touched"

~Team Awesome~

"OH NO!!!" Cried Spottedleaf.

"What?" Asked Dustpelt.

"Look!"

There hanging from the tree was Duckstar's crown.

"Now we'll never find her!" Yowled Spottedleaf.

"What about the fact that she is bright cyan bl--"

"I'm DOOMED!"

"Look let's just checkout the lake, maybe she went for swim?" Meowed Sandstorm.

~Shadowclan boundary~

"Hi excuse us but we would like to know if you would be interested in some toast?" Squirrelflight asked the Shadowclan patrol kindly.

"Whaa?" Was all the patrol could say.

"She means have you seen a blue duck with a crown?"

"Wha? Wait a minute. Let me get this straight. More than half the clan is searching for some duck?"

"Actually it's the whole clan. In fact this would make our camp extremely vulnerable to attac--- I mean we have monsters protecting our camp. Big monsters. Super strong… Hehe"

"Look have ya seen the duck or not. And more importantly do you want your toast buttered or unbuttered?" Squirrelflight cut in.

"Um no and no toast" said the Shadowclan patrol.

~Windclan Boundary Team Lucky~

"I guess we'll have to wait for a patrol" Cloudtail meowed sitting down.

"Hey look at that rabbit go." Ravenpaw said getting distracted.

"Wait a sec. Rabbits feat are lucky. If I get them then they'll counter your bad luck. Come on Ravenpaw we're catching that rabbit!" Cloudtail yowled racing across into Windclan territory with Ravenpaw at his heels.

~At the lake Team Awesome~

All three cats seem to be staring across the lake.

"Oh dear Starclan!" Meowed Spottedleaf starting to hyperventilate again.

"This could be bad…" Murmured Dustpelt.

**Mhuahuahuahua I ended it with a cliffie! What are Team Awesome looking at? Where is Duckstar? Will Shadowclan attack? Will Cloudtail and Ravenpaw get caught on Windclan territory? You'll just have to REVIEW to find out. Cuz I want at least 5 more or else I won't update!!!**

**And remember the kits!**


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